10.22.08
Posted in Adversity at 9:07 am by suzy@suzyspeakshope.com
This morning, while sitting in my backyard reflecting on some of the discouraging events of the past couple of weeks, I found that I had to remind myself what a gift adversity can be if I allow it to be.
Recently, I was summoned for jury duty. I was also picked to sit on a jury that morning; a case that was to continue for the next seven days. So long, in fact, that the presiding judge visited our deliberation room with a message that ours was the longest jury he had ever had out in his career as a judge. Not an encouraging comment.
Because of the ill-placed timing of this summons and subsequent jury duty, I was required to spend my 46th birthday surrounded by 11 other jurors whom I didn’t know and once the jury duty was over, would most likely never see again. Not an ideal birthday.
Three days later our city was hit by a Category 3 hurricane. The prediction is that many parts of our metropolitan area would be without power and in some cases water, for potentially two to four weeks. Not an optimistic forecast.
So, how can I be content with such a pitiable past couple of weeks?
I think it’s because in my pursuit for personal transformation I am finally learning that life will always be filled with troubles and trials that I am not able to change or even fix. But if I allow them to, these adversities can actually work their change in me.
I am inspired by an ancient saying which advises, “When [life] throws a dagger at you, there are only two ways to catch it, either by the blade or by the handle.”
Most of us would no doubt enjoy a life free from flat tires, broken arms, lost jobs or damaged relationships. However, since there is a slim to nothing chance that trouble will cease to come my way, I want to choose now to catch adversity by the handle and use it as the tool for which it was intended…to work its change in me.
J.B. Phillips’s paraphrase of James 1:2-4 puts the matter of adversity in perspective: “When all kinds of trials crowd into your lives…don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realize that they have come to test your endurance. But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become men (and women) of mature character…”
Because this truly is my sincere desire; to become a person of mature character, I will choose to believe that whatever adversity comes my way is pregnant with the potential to work its good in my life.
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07.29.08
Posted in Miracles at 12:22 am by suzy@suzyspeakshope.com
I looked and in front of me I saw a bush on fire that was not being consumed. This must have been an amazing miracle for Moses to witness, I thought.
“No, this was not a miracle,” I heard from somewhere deep inside.
I looked again and in front of me I saw a wall of water splitting in two, creating a pathway of dry ground for a nation of people to pass safely through to the other side. What an incredible miracle that was, I thought.
“No, this was not a miracle either,” I heard again.
Once more I looked and in front of me I saw a woman standing before others boldly proclaiming the gospel of hope. I recognized that woman and knew her failings; I knew her weaknesses and all of her mistakes. This must truly be a miracle I insisted to myself. That God would use someone like her to speak hope to others.
“No, this is not even a miracle,” was the response that came back to me.
Then I saw a man standing in front of that bush that refused to be consumed. He was broken, weary and afraid. Still he said yes to God. Yes, to the difficult path promised to him.
“That was the miracle,” I heard whispered in my heart.
I saw the One who governs the universe without a moment’s hesitation look upon a collection of stiff-necked people who had a history of rejecting Him, but that long ago had made a promise to never leave or forsake them.
“That was the miracle.” I heard again.
Finally, I saw that woman whose past failures and mistakes should have disqualified her from ever being an effective witness to one so perfect as Jesus. I saw that woman as a little girl, crying alone in her room wanting just for someone to say that her life mattered. I saw her grown, as she is today telling you this story; lying broken before the healer of our deepest wounds, crying out for that One to redeem her life for His glory…as unworthy as she knew she was.
And this time, I whispered what I now understood. “That was the miracle.”
Not that a bush refused to be consumed. Not that a body of water split in two. Not that a woman like her…like me, could speak messages of hope to multitudes.
But that the love of God is so deep and so wide and so vast that broken and afraid, sinful and rebellious people become the receiving end of that eternal love. And their lives are changed forever. And the world is changed forever because they believed in the One who gave them that love.
That is truly a miracle.
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06.13.08
Posted in Sufficiency at 4:27 am by suzy@suzyspeakshope.com
Late one night several years ago during a bout with discouragement, I found myself on my knees beside my bed. In deep despair I sobbed into the night, “I am only a misfit!”
What prompted this miserable outburst was the sin of comparing myself to other dedicated believers I knew in ministry. Some I knew personally, others I was familiar with only by reputation. Each of these men & women were leaders of ministries; doing wonderful work for the Kingdom of God.
However, listening for two days to the amazing stories of these cutting edge leaders, my heart began to accuse me. It began to tell me that I wasn’t enough. That I was terribly flawed, and would never be able to contribute anything of value to improve the lives of those around me.
Instead of shutting off the valve to this flow of lies streaming into my brain, I began to agree with these thoughts that continued to slander my character.
I judged that my assignment on this earth was solely to stay at home and be the “keeper of my family.” Strongholds of thoughts began to build in my mind that I had nothing of significance to offer anyone else with my life.
I did put up a bit of a defense, however weak, arguing the value of being a parent choosing to stay at home. Nonetheless, I was discovering that having the same vocation for over 20 years was making me restless and ready to explore new arenas.
A few days later I was at a meeting hosted by my cousin, Doug Stringer, founder of Somebody Cares America. Without conceit, he was sharing the various ways God used him and others during Hurricane Katrina to help many who desperately needed it.
What he said when he was finished left me dumbfounded; lost in wonder and amazement. “We are just a bunch of misfits making ourselves available for whatever God wants to do.”
At once I knew three things. First, God had heard the cry of His heartsick daughter kneeling broken before Him.
Second, my distress didn’t make Him angry. My sin didn’t disqualify me from His love. His amazing love!
And third, I am enough.
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05.27.08
Posted in Success and Failure at 1:13 pm by suzy@suzyspeakshope.com
Last week, I wrote about overcoming. I wrote that over the weekend I found myself in the middle of a series of challenges that stared me right in the face daring me to fail.
Because of a commitment to personal transformation I made last year, I was determined not to avoid nor walk away from challenges that held the potential for great life adventures for me.
Here I was again. Face to face with a mountainous challenge whose name was Zip Line. I watched from below as many of my friends tethered themselves to a harness, attached themselves to a cable, and with a spirit as free as an eagle flew off the five story platform into thin air.
Wow! In my heart I was captivated. What must that feel like to simply fly through the air holding on to nothing? I wanted to experience that!
In my head I was all stops. Red lights blinking, sirens blaring, voices shouting; “Danger Will Robinson, Danger!”
After interviewing just about every single person who became unharnessed from the cable, I was willing to believe that this was definitely in the category of holding the potential for a great life adventure. And if this were true, my commitment to not avoid this experience applied here.
So, with my stomach in my throat, I ascended the 50 feet of stairs to the platform from which I would leap.
Okay, the true picture is more like…’from which I would scoot away from.’
My friends, in their wondrous bravery ran off the platform, walked off the platform, and even leapt off the platform backwards.
I scooted off the platform. And this only after our coach gently sat down behind me and with a voice of compassion & understanding, although it vaguely sounded like pity, offered to “help” me off.
In my defense, isn’t it true that it is not natural for human beings to simply defy laws of gravity and fling themselves off high places? Laws of self preservation are also at work here!
In the moments before falling, I was so close to failing.
The voices in my head to retreat, quit, give up, walk away, were so loud they became deafening. Then I heard other voices that came from my friends below. These voices told me I could do it. They shouted wonderful words that in my heart gave me hope that I didn’t have to fail. I could fall.
And I fell. And together we celebrated my newest victory.
When thinking about this experience later that evening, I realized that failure was an option. Failure is always an option. It is something inside of each of us that must purposefully choose victory every time. Because in choosing victory that day, I chose to experience the adventure of living.
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05.22.08
Posted in Overcoming at 8:06 pm by suzy@suzyspeakshope.com
While spending some time this weekend with several of my friends I discovered something new about myself which really made me like myself better.
I don’t know about you, but this is a regular battle I face whenever I pay too much attention to me. When I look at me too closely or too long, I discover great human flaws in my character and begin to become my own worst enemy.
This weekend; however, I overcame some fears in my life through a series of challenges I let myself be put in.
The first being what my friends labeled Faith Falling. I watched as one after another brave woman determinedly walked upon a platform, turned their backs on the cluster of ladies below with outstretched arms ready to catch them when they blindly fell backward toward the earth into their waiting arms.
One year ago next month, I committed myself to a new way of living. It was four months before I turned 45. I decided I was through letting life happen to me and I would begin living life on my own terms. I would begin to determine the outcome of my days, not others, not chance…but me.
This has required a completely different way of thinking about the way I approached life.
One area of transformation to me was my weight. I began for the first time, to take getting in shape seriously. In just one afternoon, I had joined a local gym, enrolled in a diet program online, and had my first workout in years.
I had purchased my ticket to a new me, and with a bit of fear, a little doubt, and a smidgeon of excitement was off on a new journey.
So, this weekend I had to dig down deep to recommit to my goals of personal transformation. Having success in the weight area, I was now faced with an area of fear that in the past held me back from having the life I wanted.
The challenge on the platform before me was one of trust. Did I trust these women with my life? Did I trust them not to let me down…literally! Could they really hold me up and not let me get hurt?
This has not always proven true for me in the past. You too?
Our guide, a hero to me and good friend, stood in front of me on the platform. I thought about her story. Her devastating losses, her struggles, her victories, and her overcoming life. I trusted her. She would help me overcome this battle too.
The moment arrived, I had to fall into the arms of these women below me or walk back down the steps that led me to this place of challenge. My mind raced, my palms moistened, my heart pounded as I found myself speaking the words, “Ready!” to which came the reply from my friends below, “Ready!” Could I get out the next word? The one that alerted everyone to my definite intention of falling?
Through the air like a trumpet blast, I shouted, “Falling!” And with the reply, “Fall on!” let myself be drawn into their strong, capable, outstretched arms to catch me.
I was safe. I had overcome fear. Victory won today.
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